change forces growth

it's been a while, about 6 months actually. ive been busy and i love it! a year has passed since i transitioned into actual adulthood and while its been difficult its also been the biggest blessing in my life. the past year has been about change. i recently heard a talk about transitions in life and the speaker said that change forces growth.

4 years ago I'd say that change is part of life and you either change for the better or for worse but you can't grow from change because you cant always control it.

now i'd say that the reason it forces growth is BECAUSE you cant always control it. Heavenly Father doesnt listen to our prayers and then give us exactly what we ask for. he gives us what we need. its hard to accept that sometimes because what we need doesnt always fit perfectly into our lives. we grow from those experiences in ways we never thought possible. in the past year i have changed my life. i changed the course i was on and i changed me.

you talk to the right people and you'll find out a lot about me, but if you ask me to describe myself a year and a half ago heres what you'll get.... i was selfish. i often skipped classes for a couple more hours of sleep or some tv. i would go out with my friends almost every day of the week because i liked to drink. it was easy to justify my actions when i drank because i didnt have to take responsibility for the things i did or said. it was always the alcohol's fault. i had no goals because that meant actually taking the time to look closely at my life.

one morning i woke up and was disgusted with myself. i couldnt figure out why only that i did not like what i saw in the mirror. now, dont get me wrong it was not my outer appearance i despised. it was the person i had become. I was cold and i was floating through my life.

so what do you do when youre in so deep its hard to see the daylight? you start moving toward the light. i started praying and reading the scriptures. i read my patriarchal blessing. i started attending church. in hindsight i can see that i started to see my potential and my worth. i began to value myself and appreciate my life.
i started to change my actions, and it led me to a change of nature.

i could sit here and tell you how much i have changed as a person spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. i could tell you all about my transition from party girl to church girl. I could tell you all the reasons i made that change and i could give you a list of the blessings that have come from that single decision. I could write all night long about it but it wouldn't mean a thing unless my character, my nature, my everyday life reflected these changes. i believe that my life now does just that. i live now as a reflection of my family and of my Savior. I make mistakes because i am mortal, but i know who i am and i know my worth in the eyes of the Lord. I know He loves me and that i can live with Him again if i live my life accordingly. i have grown in every way possible. i am no longer ashamed of my actions. i am proud to be a follower of Christ and i am proud of the steps i have  taken to become closer to Him.

so does change force growth?

my answer is: absolutely.